Show #2: Introduction Part II

In Part II of our Introduction, MamaVISION and I will talk about our "defining moment in our blogging history," and the "soul" reason we are doing what we are doing here at Chasing Beauty, and what we are doing on our respective blogs MamaVISION and Back in Skinny Jeans.

Play podcast: "Chasing Beauty Introduction Part II"

Comments

[mikkie]

Hello Stefanie and Heather,

I just finished listening to your first two podcasts and it was thought-provoking to say the least. It is really great to hear two smart, grounded women tackling the subject in an honest and sincere way.

One thing that is bothering me a bit though is that I get the impression that sometimes you seem to link the occurrence of eating disorders purely to the perefect body image that exists in society. Based on my own experiences I would say that it is more complicated than that.

For me it definitely was a way of dealing with unwanted, puzzling, confusing emotions. My worst moments were when I felt insecure, clueless about how to act or when I was confronted with sides of myself that I did not like so much.

Don't get me wrong, I completely agree with your stance on size 0 and the lack of real looking women in the media in general. It is just that for me not liking the way I looked was definitely a part of the problem, but the main part for me was not being able to accept who I am, all aspects, both mental, emotional and physicial.

I am curious to hear your point of view and experiences with respect to that.

It struck me that Stefanie mentioned she was a recovering perfectionist, since I can definitely relate to that. Accepting that you are flawed, being ok with that is a huge challenge!

I loved what you told about your experiences with your blog and Microsoft, that they accepted and respected your blog with all the material on it, dark or not.
I really think that blogs and social networks like MySpace make a big difference for people in accepting themselves in that way. The chance that you come across someone who thinks like you and sees life in the same way has grown enormously and hopefully this will increase self-accpetance overall.

Your podcast helps a lot in this aspect as well. Thanks for publishing it! I am looking forward to the next one!

Mikkie

[Stephanie Quilao]

Thanks for listening and commenting mikkie. First, I agree with you that the causes behind eating disorders are complex, and are not just caused by society's pressure to be thin and pretty. In my particualr experience, the pressure to be pretty and perfect was the primary force. Everyone is different.

In the podcast show, Heather and I just want to start shedding light on topics that many people know about and think about, but never say out loud in the open. We are not therapists, or medical professionals. We are jsut a couple of ladies sharing our opinions. I recommend that anyone dealing with an eating disorder get professional help because your health is in jeopardy, and you cannot do this alone. For me, I want to shed light on the fact that there is no shame in being un-perfect. In fact, our human-ness is what makes us unique and special.

I used to live with "one wrong move" syndrome where I thought that making even just one mistake or bad decision was somehow going to ruin me and my life. everything was extreme. As an example, I had days where I felt so guilty for eating an extra cookie. It was as if that one extra cookie was going to ruin my entire weight loss program or my entire goal weight which I finally attained. Living like that was, honestly, hell, and more painfully, a hell that I chose to live in for a long time because I was too proud or too scared to ask for help.

The path to healing is a long one that takes work, support, and a strong desire by the individual to heal. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel. Absolutely. Is it going to be easy? No. Does that mean you give up because you fall down or relapse? Absolutely not. You learn from your mistakes, grow, and move forward. Are you alone? If you ask for help, you will not be alone.

[mikkie]

Dear Stephanie,

Thanks for the response.

Don't worry. i am certainly not alone and though this will be a life-long struggle, I dare say that I am pretty sure the biggest battle is behind me. I could not have written or talked about if I did not have the distance I have now.

What you wrote about the "wrong move" syndrome (great name for it!) is very recognizable. Being overly critical of myself? Been there, done that, got the coffee mug. :-)

But of course, as you said every human is different and experiences things in a different way. Still it is great to see other people being concerned about it as well, thinking about it and talking about it.

So thanks! I'll definitely keep up with what you guys are doing, it is a really great thing!

[Stephanie Quilao]

Thanks mikkie. We're very happy to have you here.

And me too. I could not talk about the things I do here or on Back in Skinny Jeans without having the distance, and the perspective that the distance has given me.